Lost

I have continued to harvest squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, beans and enjoy the flowers blooming in the gardens. However, the past few weeks I've been guilty of benign neglect for the garden, yard, and home in general. I've been depressed. The overpowering nature of depression is such that all that normally brings great joy suddenly becomes unimportant.

Like an untended garden, in depression the mind becomes overgrown with weeds, vines, and vermin that eat away at the plants and flowers one desires to flourish. The depression shades out optimism, hope, joy, and laughter. It is easy to become lost in this jungle of runaway negativity. The deep foliage covers the path out, making one wander aimlessly. In the jungle of depression everything is suspect. Like a person lost in an earthly jungle, danger is sensed in everything.

I was taught as a child that when lost in the woods the first thing to do was stop, be still, and get my sense of direction back. (I played often in 32 acres of woodland on my father's farm). Next I was to look for familiar landmarks and use them to find my way back to the path that would ultimately lead home. I was taught that an animal or human being chased or lost will go in circles.

I have been running in circles. I am back where I started. So, on this morning I am standing still, listening to a gentle rain fall outside. I'm looking for landmarks to guide me from this depression and back to the path home.